Recap: Weeks 1-14

One word: nausea.

For me, morning sickness meant nausea all day every day.Good times. But alas this blog will not be about the not-so-great parts of my pregnancy unless I can do so with humor. And well, there is nothing humorous about nausea.

So let's move on...perhaps a more entertaining way for me to recap my pregnancy to this point is to share some of my insights:

1. You simply look and feel fat. The round, hard bump is neither round nor hard...yet.

2. In the drug store picking up your prenatal vitamins, you debate, for the first time in your life, buying Depends. It would save you the numerous trips to the bathroom throughout the day.

3. At first, you are...well, 'pleased' isn't the right word...let's go with 'impressed' that you could rival any 'adult movie star' with your increased, um, assets...but then comes the back pain...and the knowledge that apparently they will continue to increase over the next nine months.

4. Eating spaghetti at 9:00 a.m. at work will result in strange looks from your colleagues.

5. The 'Be Band' is one of the greatest inventions. Although designed for a pregnant woman, I am convinced a man invented it. I highly recommend purchasing one before Thanksgiving. It allows you to wear your jeans/pants/slacks/trousers unbuttoned and unzipped without falling down. Pure brillance.

6. There is a fake bump in some dressing rooms of maternity stores. There is no warning. If you're not expecting to see a fake bump, it might freak you out...but not nearly as much as when you actually put it on and look in the mirror. (Whoa.)

7. Do not expect anyone under the age of 9 to be concerned about the same things you are concerned about during your pregnancy. Top of mind for my nieces - where the sperm came from and what will the nursery look like.

8. Although your doctor says you are fine to lift anything up to 25 lbs., in your mother's eyes, that translates to not lifting anything more than your toothbrush or hair brush.

9. Even though he has not personally experienced pregnancy, your father suddenly has more advice than ever before...and inevitably, he will say the wrong things. But hey - it builds character. Right, Dad?

10. And the last insight I will share for now is this - you are overwhelmed and astonished at the pure elation that overcomes you when you hear your baby's heartbeat for the first time and see your baby for the first time.

(Oh wait - did I mention I was pregnant?)