The Short and Long of It

I did it. I was told I would do it. I denied it on more than one occasion that I would do it. But...I did it. I got a "Mom do." So 14 inches later...

Teething

Ava has her first two teeth - on the bottom, dead center. And I only have six words for the experience...

Teething is not for the weak.

E

The Village

We've all heard it...even before we were parents...how it takes a village to raise a child. If I had more sleep, and frankly, more time, I would research it's origin. But alas, it really doesn't matter...if a lady behind me in line at Target had said it to me, I would have had the same reaction. Pre-Ava: "Yes, I am sure it does." Post-Ava: "I know, right!? I have no idea what I would do without the village. I mean, seriously, the village is legit. I thought it was a joke, but it is so true!" (To the point that I am sure the fictitious lady in line at Target would relocate to another line.)

The village. My village. Ava's village. Mine and Ava's village. It is huge. No. It is ginormous. And every so often, I do a mental, "Oh yeah...that person is so in our village."

With every village gathering - weekly, monthly or on special occasions - be it 4, 6, 16 or 23, I am reminded of the importance of every member of the village. From the mere showing up and being truly present, to the washing of bottles; from the offerings to hold my sweet girl crying or smiling, to the emails at 5am filled with encouraging words; from the clipping of her nails to the numerous texts filled with humor and support; from the advice on teething to shared tears at the daunting acts of raising a child, I am reminded. Our village rocks. Other villages are looking at our village in groupie awe. No opening acts here, only rock stars.

So the next time the fictitious lady behind me in line at Target says, "It takes a village to raise a child," (or more realistically, the next time I read it as a marketing tagline somewhere) I will simply smile and say, "Yes...yes it does."

E

Firsts.

Firsts. Life is full of them. Whether it is your first pet, your first kiss, your first car, your first job, your first house, your first child...emotions can run the gamut from exhilarating to fearful, happiness to disappointment.

As you know, I am in the first year with my first child. In the five months I have been on this adventure, there have been a lot of firsts.

The first time I held her - I fell in love...hard.
The first time she had an up-the-back blowout - I stared in shock, disbelief, horror, disgust, and well, fear.
The first time she smiled at me from recognition, not gas - I fell in love...even harder.
The first time she slept in her crib, in her room - I didn't sleep.
The first time I dropped her off at school - I cried. No...I sobbed.
The first time I realized her neck and armpits mysteriously collect remnants of drool, milk, spit-up (you get the idea) - I almost threw up.
The first time I had to call the doctor in the night - I made outlandish promises to God if he would just make her alright.
The first time I left her overnight - I missed her. A lot.
The first time she laughed, really laughed - I laughed, I really laughed.

This is only the short list of firsts. And I know there are so many more to come...

As this day comes to an end, I realize that years from now I may not remember her red paint hand print with the poem I received or that I held her for almost three hours as she napped today, but I will always remember the first Mother's Day I was a mother and that, because of her, I will always be a mother on Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day!
E

Happy. New. Year.

Happy? I had no idea how happy being this happy could feel...
New? Almost every minute of every day of my new normal...
Year? It is going to be an amazing one...

I laughed while reading my last post (and hung my head in blogger shame for the lack of posts) because I was pregnant and I am sooo not pregnant now. I am the mother of a one month old. Wow. Let me type that one more time. I am the mother (pause) of a one month old (pause).

When people say, 'Time flies,' they are not kidding. And when people say, 'Time flies,' as it relates to becoming a parent for the first time and watching your child grow up, they are really not kidding. I can recall in great detail the first time I held her. And yesterday, she turned a month old. Time. Flies.

In the past month, I have learned the following:
1. What happens in the labor and delivery room should stay in the labor and delivery room.
2. Having a baby moves your heart to the outside of you for the rest of your life...and that is scary.
3. It takes a village. A big village. Yes, I am a single mom, but there is a village raising my sweet girl...and quite frankly, that same village is helping me survive the first few weeks of motherhood. (thankyouthankyouthankyou)
4. Learning to sleep when the baby sleeps is harder than you think when you've not ever been one to sleep in or take naps on a regular basis. The one time being lazy would be beneficial.
5. Breastfeeding is H-A-R-D.
6. Your round, hard pregnant belly is no longer round or hard, but it is definitely a belly.
7. All the food and beverage (read: alcohol and caffeine) restrictions during pregnancy are pretty much still in tact or there is a lot of planning and effort if you want to indulge. (See #5 above)
8. There is nothing wrong with wearing your hair in a ponytail every day.
9. Showering every day is overrated.
10. It is amazing what you can do one-handed, sleep deprived, (unshowered, wearing a pony tail, of course - ha!).

There is a big flashing neon sign - blinkety blink, blinkety blink - in all caps, in my mind,'WELCOME TO PARENTHOOD, ROOKIE.'

A big pile of love,
Rook-E

Size Does Matter

Regardless of your stance prior to pregnancy about whether or not size matters, you quickly learn during pregnancy, that size does matter.

From your first doctor's appointment, you are keenly aware of your size as revealed by the scale. You are expected to gain weight, of course, but not too much weight.

Then there are clothing sizes. You are the same size you were pre-pregnancy, but now in the maternity section of the store...at least in the beginning. (And yes, as in your pre-pregnancy life, your sizing depends on which brand.) By the end of the pregnancy, maternity section or not, you are a larger size then you were in the beginning.

As your appointments become biweekly, then weekly, your belly is measured and recorded in your file, noting your size progression. The size of your baby is estimated in simple terms - small or big. (As in, 'Elizabeth, you have a small baby in there.')

But the most important size of all, as I am acutely aware of this week, is described in centimeters and followed by the word, 'dilated.' (As in, 'Elizabeth, you are 2 centimeters dilated.')

And although I am very aware of the fact that I could hang out at 2 centimeters for weeks, I am excited because it indicates I am that much closer to labor, which means I am that much closer to meeting my sweet girl.

Behind closed doors, on carnival rides, and fishing trips aside, during pregnancy, size does matter.

T-Minus

So when should the official countdown begin? From the day you find out you're pregnant? At the start of your third trimester? When you begin your weekly appointments?

Well, I know I am pregnant (ha!), I am in my third trimester and my weekly appointments started this week...so let the countdown begin.

T-Minus 24 days